Robert F. Funke

Robert’s thoughts:

A little piano. I’m feeling it. Very processed. This particular piano timbre reminds me of something. Can’t remember what. Maybe going to the mall when I was little and playing the keyboards at the piano store.

We’re 30 seconds in, and I’m enjoying this track. Here come the vocals.

Okay, Gin’s voice is a little annoying, but I’m pretending I’m a child again and I just happened upon a young Urban playing the piano in the mall singing, and frankly, I’m impressed.

Throughout the day I dream of you.

And some days I don’t know what to do.

Tell me what would it take for you to come home?

Cause all I want for Christmas is YOUUUUU

Look man. If you’re going to pen a pop Christmas song, that refrain is OUT. I realize it’s an easy one, but the most memorable Christmas pop song since Vietnam is called literally “All I Want For Christmas Is You”. So.

Hahaha. Ginuwine wants her to meet him under the mistletoe.

Okay, now he’s talking about fighting with this girl (assumption; gender nonspecific). He heard you but just wasn’t hearing you. Hahaha. Okay, and I get the sense the song is about to be over.

In conclusion, I think this song is pretty dumb, but I enjoyed it for a while. I bet whomever Gin was singing for hug and kissed on him afterwards.

JP’s thoughts:

Between this and yesterday’s song, this is shaping up to be a pretty overall depressing Christmas album. It seems that Ginuwine is constantly getting dumped right before the holidays. According to this song, all Ginuwine wants for Christmas is some broad, as if women are just some item to be owned. Dr. Phil or Maury would send you to that scared straight boot camp with that insane ex-Marine guy that they send all the shithead teens to if they heard that garbage. No wonder women are always leaving yo trifflin ass Gin’.